Wow…while looking for something else entirely, I came across some journals from 1995-1997. Boy, I was a busy girl with a *lot* of boys and drama in of my life. Sometimes I still miss it, but I also found a beautiful scared entry I wrote about meeting my husband. I wrote the entry sometime in the first week and a half of meeting him and clearly understood it could be everything I was looking for.
I also came across poetry – lots of random scribbled poetry written in a single pass over a cup of coffee at the Elvis Room. I haven’t read them all, but here are a couple juicy dramatic ones. They are not amazing or perfect, but I like them for what they evoke of the passion of that time of my life for me. My journals then are a tangle of intertwined lovers and passions won or lost or double-crossed. I was 21 and full of raging hormones when I wrote these. Thought I would share…
8/24/95
Dangerous as always
Relations with others
Twisted trios of passion
and hate for one another
You can’t close your eyes
You couldn’t if you tried
You can’t afford to lose
the edge of surprise
She clings to his side
I slide down his thigh
His eyes open wide
the shame deep inside
She needs him so bad
I just drive him mad
My lingering gaze
cuts quick through his haze
I know to step back
I know to let go
My affection for him
I fear will always show
A remark from his lips
a satirical twist
The wryness of it
is too much to resist
I lock on his soul
I don’t want to let go
I try to pull back
and make him let go
8/26/95
A cool stare
from across the room
gazes locked
a moment shared
A stranger steps in
and breaks the embrace
He orders his coffee
and cases the place
Then suddenly he goes
he’s off on the road
Their eyes meet again
they start to lose control
It was simple at first
a quick little flirt
but then it began
to make more demands
A secret was shared
Two souls were then bared
An inquisitive 3rd eye
might just lose his mind
For then they were locked
into something so tight
to pull away now
would take all of their might
A warm gentle stream
had flowed in between
but now its high tides
threatened both of their lives
It had grown in their eyes
and had doubled in size
anticipation now gripped
the insides of their thighs
At once they arose
as if they’d been told
the meaning of this
was eternal bliss
Their bodies were joined
and held tight ’til morn
the bard long since gone
and still they danced on…
but the music lived on.
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